One comb gives you highlights,
one comb volume too,
and the pudding bowl haircut, isn't really good for you.
Go ask Alice for a band, when her hair is tall,
but if you go seeking dreadlocks then they're not your look at all.
Tell them the Bride of Frankenstein has given you a coiffe,
and Alice with her hair down will help you get a life.
The bald men in the waiting room will recommend a wig,
that's made from stuff like horse hair, and is very very big.
And you've had a perm for days and days and your hair is hard as rock,
and the ends are not so much as split as atomised in shock.
When hair mousse, and hair lacquer have tried their best and failed,
and the mohawk is the last you'll have, your duck's arse is de-tailed.
Remember Picard is the bomb, what Sinead O'Conner said.
Shave your head, Shave your head.
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