Thursday, April 13, 2006

Shakespeare's Star Wars Act IV


QUI-GON. The cannonade grows fierce as we their ships’ evade by nautical manoeuvres and by stealth, and by the pluck of our brave top’sail lads who trim and bag the wind how hard she blows while blows avoiding from the pirate’s shot.

OBI-WAN. We're losing mast-men fast. For fast they can not hold, beneath a multitude of mobbish grape.

CAPT. PANAKA. If they can’t trim the sails then are we fixed becalmed as ducks who squat at egg, beneath, the Musket end of hunter’s uncap’t fire.

[Cries aloft]

One lad is gone, the other who remains, though mute of speech has far the subtler hold, if aught can be accomplished this he’ll do.
We have the wind, by God, now Gods be praised, make way for open sea, and thus to home.

SAILOR. With one hand open fate gives gifts and then strikes them from out the hand it feeds for see we’re taking water on the starboard side, and though for voyage brief we are preserved by caulking and by tarring up the wound in the ship’s self, it will not hold gainst great Oceanus’ storms and waves of iron.

QUI-GON. We'll have to land somewhere to make it good and board the ship with timbers seasoned sweet. Pass me that map.

OBI-WAN. Here, Master. Tatooine... It's small, out of the way, the pirate guilds have no anchorage there.

QUI-GON. As minnows darting from the drinking mouth of elephants I judge their absense hence for know that Isle is held by sultans mad with chance.

CAPT. PANAKA. The Hutts??

OBI-WAN. It's risky, but there's no alternative.

CAPT. PANAKA. You can not take Her Royal Highness there! The Hutts are unallied to Chancellor or state. If they discovered her...

QUI-GON. Would be a death no worse than that at pirate’s whim’s incurred.


DARTH SIDIOUS Put not your trust in Princes and still less trust to your underlings to spill forth truth, as to their failures but plan to set upon them your right hand.

DARTH MAUL In me repose your trust, my Master

The trust in me is long burnt out by sight of all the evils in the world of men that answer not to me. Yet if of all the world I might learn trust, it would be set on you, who like a son, stands next to me in all our ancient arts. Go then and manifest my sternest will, enforce decrees, make safe the Queen’s great seal, upon the parchments which enthrone our state.


CAPT. PANAKA This is the topsail lad who sailor like and footed sure as cat which fears to slip lest wet-her-paw she goes, ensured our safety with his needle-work, which saved the sails from tearing at the blast.

AMIDALA He is to be commended... What’s his name?

CAPT. PANAKA He speaks a dialect quaint, and so most oft goes mute, but in his native isle his name is ARTOO, an’ it pleases you.

AMIDALA It pleases me, most certain, good my maid the ever loyal Padme, with him go, and see the lad from other work is spared, and too his dirt, and thirst and hunger now administer all recompense that ship hold may allow.

PADME and ARTOO, exit during the following speeches but clearly hear then.

(to Panaka) Continue, Captain.

CAPT. PANAKA I must enjoin your highness to reject the course the knights have enforced on our craft. Oh rather than to land at Tatooine that black Tortuga of the Hutts domaine should we repare us to a desert isle to make repairs beyond the ken of man.

QUI-GON You must trust my judgement, Your Highness. For wilderness alone will not provide, unless the bushes sprout with nails, our needs. We must have carpenters as well as trees, and skill sans timber or the other way defeats us quite as readily as aught.


PADME. What thinks thou, my brave, rigger - should we risk the treacherous and ill named Tatooine - Or sit without risk where we risk that fate may over take us becalmed and unshipped upon a coral atoll, in our cups.

ARTO Shrugs

JAR JAR Hidoe! Sorry, nomeanen to scare yousa. I scovered loofa back dare. Needen it?

PADME Thank you. This boy is quite enmired in grime.

JAR JAR hands PADME the loofah.

JAR JAR Mesa Ja Ja Binksss...

PADME And I am Padme, I serve attendance on Her Highness‘ self. How did a Gungan come from oft our isle, where mutual but separate til now our kinds each kept their sole sinecures convinced that each was rightful - as in single cage a lion and tiger barred contended not for mastery but each its whiskers licked and wiped its paws with every sign of peace.

JAR JAR Whi howsa came I me no know... mesa day start Pitty okeyday witda brisky morning munchen. Den boom... Lika de fates before mesa knowen it... pow! Mesa here.

ARTOO Makes a sympathetic noise.

PADME. Soon now our craft will land on Tatooine. And on the shingle strand our task begin.

No comments: