Monday, May 10, 2010

Trapphics from @BucherJones II

Godbothering literally began in Atlantis where the ritual eschaton immantization chant: "Are We There Yet!" so successfully irritated Poseidon.

Sentients awaiting replacement universes, during emergency maintinence, are advised that two or more are expected at once.

2027: Fire Service called when rogue cornucopia engine filled Albert Hall with Designer Sushi. Copyright Violation burned with flame cannon.

Following the vampire squirrels' first appearance (1987): the defense/sports industry sponsored the first stakeboarding championships (1990).

'Where ever idock iMind that's iHome.' Voted best ad slogan: 2026 narrowly beating: 'Pisspoor? Organic Recyc Technanovies are Liquid Gold!"

I'm fascinated by the new Shakespearean hypertheatre: The Tesseract, located in, on, above, below, eckward and andward of The Globe, London.

"We only hope that humanity can forgive us and enter into a abiding coallition of species that in no way involves drinking mammalian blood with pippets and going Uuuuuullllllahhhhhhh.”

"We are ashamed of our former acts and recall with horror the ghastly finale of what we will always term The Cold War" Martian speech 1899.

Mullah Lite: more or less the church of England, for Islam, but available in mini packs of six and with apple and fruit flavourings.

Mr Kipling's Geological Slices: heady rich layers of metamorphic rock with genuine embedded crunchy fossils, topped with alluvial sandstone.

Afterlife: the metaphysical splash of astringent after the closest of shaves. Now in lapis lazuli, quince, or 72 jewelled virginal essences.

Vampufreeze: for when the thought of the Torys being elected isn't chilling your blood enough. Now with rubber fangs for your novelty needs.

After 70 years of continuous broadcast from its origins in kids' TV 8th Sept 2077 saw the final episodes of the 'middle ager comedy' iCardy.

'I'm worried that while I'm awake my dreams are planning to kill me. I interogate them everytime I go to sleep but they just make no sense.'

District 9 1/2 weeks: The film depicts the relationship between a human Wall Street arbitrageur and an alien divorced SoHo gallery employee.

Reincarnation Reincarnation Reincarnation: Harold wants a hi-iq human fetus in an upper class tummy, but he only has enough karma for a bee.

'Bespoke Reality now only takes payment in R-Dollars, or by Reality Store Credit Card'. Philip groaned. Now his reality checque had failed.

"Fear of A Conservative Win is a mental pathology": therefore when they are in in power those exhibiting it will be enforcably hospitalized.

'They told me they needed someone on the inside they could use.' said Jesus testifying about family who 'foresook him' to OffGod, yesterday.

SF stories made by what's on now and next on cable channels #5 "Your Dream Psychic 30,000 Leagues Under The Sea" [horror channel 9.00-12.00 Thu 29 April 10:03]

SF stories made by what's on now and next on cable channels #4: "Desperate Housewives Party Election Broadcast"

SF stories made by what's on now and next on cable channels #3: "World War II: The Apocalypse Megafactories".

SF stories made by what's on now and next on cable channels #2: "Kristallnacht Battlefield Detectives."

SF stories made by what on now and next on cable channels #1: "How the Earth Was Made Inside the World Of Henry the Eighth."

Noibla, reached its nadir of Evil under the AntiKing Mordred I: whose knights found the Other Grail that caught the seed of the dying Judas.

The immediately post-Big Bang: Inflationary Era of the Universe, was followed by the Double-Book Keeping and the Creative Accountancy aeons.

The sale of monobooks each consisting of one letter of the alphabet but in a variety of coded fonts was the surprise publishing fad of 2023.

The superstition that troubles come in threes has been positively disproved by research: troubles come in the ten to the ten to the 27ths.

Berkley once asked an idea to support a local charity, but it just totted up its cash smugly. Later he found it was the Thought That Counts.

'You,' said Berkley 'are an idea in God's mind. 'I am not,' said the Lost Logician, 'an omniscience can not be mistaken about place names.'

Simon BJ

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