Short Fic from my Facebook signature

Short fictions from my FACEBOOK:

The murder of nine druids, shocked Gran Breton, yesterday. The green soul of the sacred grove was described as disturbed by Pantologists. With the whole vegetable kingdom outraged, the special branch has been called in.

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Of course in those days we were terrified of the Lynch mob: what with their dark surrealist films, blue velvet dresses, and large rubbery cartoon heads.

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The great sentient starships of the 9th diaspora, came to rest on the lunar surface, issuing the von neuman drones, each with its seperate instructions to, meet and mate and build new ships in the joint image of their owners fused masterblueprints. In a decade the new ships just made would celebrate their berthdays.

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We now know that any attempt at time travel results in spreading the time traveller across space-time at a density of six atoms per cubic parsec: roughly the amount of additional material required to account for Dark Matter. To ensure the safety of the past, this knowledge is suppressed and time travel research encouraged.

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The deadliest of unwitting predators, the Immortal man has lived a thousand years swapping out cells unconsciously by teleportation as they begin to die. In that time he has started a billion cancers.

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Jane carved up my face beyond recognition. I poured the wine. Thank heavens for self-cloned meat the *only* ethical animal product.

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A further solution of the Fermi Paradox: we are in their Big Brother House.

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Justice Lloyds Associates: Crossover Insurance: we won't make a miniseries out of your Crisis.

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Sources regreted 'systemic failures' that lead to non-intervention in the affairs of doomed planet Earth, despite the retrospectively obvious signs of abuse. The Ministry refuted claims that worlds with gestalt intelligences received priority care.

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How many roads can a man walk down? Two, according to recently entangled quantum twin, Ernesto Otsenre best friend of physicist Eugene Wigner.

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"I'm afraid we're seizing your 'Rage Against The Machine' albums under the MechHate Crimes Legislation", the cybobby intoned, its blue lights flashing.

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The quality of mercy is not strained. All our homeopathic emo-patches are prepared using traditional 'shake and hope' technologies.

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The first legal AI wedding was in 2057. Unfortunately a disgruntled ex of HypervacXI uploaded itself, and crashed the party.

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He had a pleasent open face: intelligent colonies of acne had been visiting for days, impressed by the low ground rent and attractive features.


Simon BJ